I gave you a full 50 claps because your story is important. Like others, I wonder why Christians are either so oblivious or actually callous, and as a believer myself I’m probably more complicit in that than even I realize.
I don’t know if you know the Bible account of Hagar, the slave of Abraham’s wife Sarah. She herself was cast out with her baby – but God plays the long game, longer than I usually like, and works through the horrendous sin both Abraham and Sarah committed against Hagar for Hagar’s good. I hope in that ending for you.
I see your exhaustion and pain and from a stranger on the internet I can say is that I am sorry we have not been the vessels of grace and love we are supposed to be for you.